How I wasted my time today:

MyBrute. If you're anything like me, you'll spend 20 minutes trying to get a decent avatar, give up and try to settle for less, and then decide that you don't want to settle for less. And so it goes.

Try to beat me up. You know you want to.

Cool stuff.

At least that's over..

But why doesn't it feel like I'm on break yet?

I am awesome.

Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink, don't drive.

I'm just keeping it for a friend, honest!

If you're the type to pay attention to the side of my blog, you'll realize that I'm trying to read Twilight. Again.

This time I made it past the first 50 pages. Will I finally finish the book? Who knows.

Probability of death: 100%

Lifetime odds of dying from:
Any accident: 1 in 36
A motor vehicle accident: 1 in 81
A firearm: 1 in 202
Poisoning: 1 in 344
A falling object (terrestrial): 1 in 4,873
Drowning in a bathtub: 1 in 10,455
Being caught in or between objects: 1 in 29,860
Suffocation by a plastic bag: 1 in 130,498
Lightning: 1 in 2,320,000

Some years ago, a committee of specialists produced a report for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission; It's called the Rasmussen Report. The Rasmussen Report is at its core a compilation of probability statistics. The Rasmussen Report is, by definition, a incredibly boring piece of work. And yet, I can't help but think I'd want to read it. Why? Because the bottom-line subject of the Rasmussen Report is death; Yours, mine and everyone else's.

The Rasmussen Report is basically a compilation of probability statistics of dying in different ways. The probability of being killed in a truly shocking variety of mishaps, in fact. Want to know how probable it is you won't survive a flight? Or how likely it is you'll be killed by lightning? Read the Rasmussen Report.

Shockingly enough, just skimming through some of the summaries and statistics, I find that the Rasmussen Report is a surprisingly uplifting one, whether its authors meant it or not (No, they certainly didn't). It tells you in a precise and tidy format that in everything you do, there's some risk involved. However, it also tells us that the things that our society worries about most are some of the least likely things to happen. We spend such a great deal of our time giving ourselves stomach ulcers, hypertension and heart attacks worrying about getting killed in a plane crash (odds: 1 in three million) when the real killers out there are.. well, stomach ulcers, hypertension and heart attacks.

Despite what anti-smoking campaigners would have you believe, there is no such thing as "preventable death". Sooner or later, everyone is going to die (the only question is how peaceful or painful). Just ask your doctor. So that's exactly why the message of the Rasmussen Report is an optimistic one. The sooner we realize that we're all going to die, the sooner we stop worrying about it so much and start enjoying the ride.

Why quality of life as opposed to mere quantity of years? They say Methuselah lived to be almost nine and a half centuries old. Well, I'll bet the last 800 years weren't too exciting. Alexander the Great, on the other hand, was thirty-three at the time of his death and had conquered almost the whole of the known world by then. Dying was probably the only thing left to do.

I could decide to live the rest of my life within my own home, eating only home-grown produce and having to wear a jumpsuit to do the gardening because of the ultraviolet rays. I'd probably live a healthy 90 years or so.

Or I could go do ride some rollercoasters and do some bungee jumping. In a thunderstorm.

"LOL i saw nekkid pics of u CLICK HERE".

If we can't even contain viruses like these, I'm keeping a shotgun at home for when the zombie virus pandemic hits.

Not sure what it is with the large empty space up here, but meh, whatever.

Finally set up mobile Blogger properly. Greetings!

Clichés ruined.

I wish time would stand still, so I can punch it in the face.

Yeah, that'd teach it a lesson.

Rock on, Ukrainian dudes.

"Blood protects us from excessive blood loss in an injury through the mechanism of blood clotting."

Reference book FAIL.

Reuben Hood. He steals from the poor and throws it away.

One of the best things.

I set my alarm to ring at 6:30am on weekends, just so I can have the pleasure of ignoring it when it goes off.

Almost there.

In celebration of almost completely rebuilding my playlist (and then some) it's time to guess the song!

1. Caught up in this madness, too blind to see Justine
2. Say your prayers little one; Dont forget, my son, to include everyone Justine
3. I've got a soul that cannot sleep at night when something just ain't right Ooi Giap
4. It's bugging me, grating me and twisting me around Joanna
5. When you look you see right through me; Cut the rope, I fell to my knees; Born and broken every single time Justine
6. You'll never be a better kind if you don't leave the world behind Justine
7. Fear and panic in the air; I want to be free from desolation and despair Joanna
8. See me ride out of that sunset on your colour TV screen Justine
9. What I've got you've got to give it to your mamma Esfern
10. Find yourself a girl and settle down; Live a simple life in a quiet town Justine
11. They say I need some rogaine to put in my hair Joanna
12. Fumbling his confidence and wondering why the world has passed him by Daph
13. My baby's on the level, I try to read her mind; She's on the straight narrow, I'm guessing all the time Justine
14. On and on, reckless abandon; Something's wrong, this is gonna shock them Justine
15. Mamma, take this badge from me; I can't use it anymore Daph
16. I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated; I want to break this spell that you've created Daph
17. I seem to think I think I got a little situation; So listen to me sister, listen maybe you can help Justine
18. When you're on a holiday, you can't find the words to say Joanna
19. I was caught in the middle of a railroad track; I looked round and I knew there was no turning back Justine
20. She's got a smile that it seems to me; Reminds me of childhood memories Daph
21. Despair to the point 'till they provoke; The punchline before they have told the joke Justine
22. She told him she'd rather fix her make-up than try to fix what's going on Joanna
23. Bear paws and rascal power; Watching us in your garage; Big girl you ate the neighbour; The nova is over Justine
24. All the small things; True care, truth brings Joanna
25. So who's that girl there; I wonder what went wrong that she had to roam the streets Justine
26. This time the bullet cold rocked ya; A yellow ribbon instead of a swastika Daph
27. It's alright to tell me what you think about me; I won't try to argue or hold it against you Justine
28. Back in black; I hit the sack Daph
29. There was a friend of mine on murder, and the judge's gavel fell; Jury found him guilty, gave him sixteen years in hell Justine
30. This shining city built of gold, far cry from innocence Justine

Yep. That's pretty much my favourites on shuffle.
(1) song name - artist

EDIT: I just realised that I missed out #30. Have at it.

Also, 26 out of 30 done within half a day? Nice.

I'm on a boat!

"I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this isn't Seaworld, this is as real as it gets
I'm on a boat, mother$%*@er don't you ever forget."

Gotta love that song.

The only music video of the song I could find on the internet, and it's only available because they censored all the swearing (i.e. half the song).

Last Saturday.

Those crazy Japanese.

Someone give this guy a trophy already.